.......

I know life has to go on.
I know there is nothing I can do.

As Jingle was getting into his antics tonight, I sobbed.  I am still sobbing.
I cry for her.
I weep for the beautiful little girl who came to us too soon and left us too soon.
I cry for her mom and dad.
I cry for her grandparents.
I cry for our family.
I cry for myself.

I cry out to God.

Life has to go on for my little boy and his precious world.
I'm back home, but I'm lost. I want to be back in my hometown. My heart aches to be there.

It is almost 2am. I am mentally and physically exhausted. There is so much to be done and yet I don't have the strength to move. I don't feel I have the strength to go on with business as usual. I keep thinking of my 'sister' who is hurting. I have hugged my sweet boy 3000 times since I've been home. I even laid with him after he was sleeping and just snuggled him close. There are so many things I wish I knew how to say. What CAN you say to a mother who has to tell her 27 hour old beautiful creation goodbye? I can't say I understand. I don't. I can't say it will get better with time. I'm not sure if and when it will.  I can't say anything.
I just want to be there to hold her and hug her and try to make it all better, even though I can't.

I was able to see sweet Ava just hours after she arrived.  I was able to tell her hello, coo over her in her little NICU home and rejoice that she made it with every single thing going against her and her little 13 oz body. This was only Thursday.
Friday I was able to hold her and say goodbye. I was able to finally get my fingers on her tiny toes and her tiny face. I was able to snuggle her close to my heart one last time before I had to leave to take care of my own sick little guy. I miss that sweet tiny little girl more already than I ever thought I could miss a child that is not my own.

Ava Morgan, you were called Home way too soon.

God we need You. Hear our prayers.

If you have been watching for Jingle updates, don't fret. Jingle is still performing his scout elf duties and the camera is still catching the action.
This mom, however, can't find the words or strength to post about Jingle. Just not yet.

Day 17 of the Adventure

Jingle decided to take a ride in the jeep with Smoky the Otter (the otter came from the Smoky Mountains).

 I wonder where they went? It had to be fun if Jingle was involved!

Day 16 of the Adventure

Jingle must be excited our tree is finally here. He decided to do a little decorating with the toilet paper.

 He couldn't wait for me to get the decorations up. He must have got caught up in the Bo Jackson 30 for 30 and thought the tree was from Toomers Corner.

War Eagle Jingle!

Day 15 of the Adventure

Someone must have overheard the small guy in the house talking about his first big game today!

 Jingle found my glitter paint and made a sign for him.

 It appears Jingle loves basketball. This is the second time we've caught him with this ball!!

How nice of Jingle. When we came home from the game, little guy said "Jingle's good luck sign must have worked."  We won 18-6!

Day 14 of the Adventure

What on earth?!

 Jingle got tangled up in a slinky. It looks like he was trying to bungee jump off the mantle and got stuck!

 My son stared at him for what seemed like eternity and yelled "MOM I SAW HIM MOVE!"

Who am I to tell him it was because the heater turned on and started making him sway? I love he still has his sweet innocence for at least a little while longer. 

Day 13 of the Adventure

I think he is missing his reindeer friends. When we woke up, he was hanging out with the goofy reindeer!

 He was having a good time with them it appeared!

Day 12 of the Adventure

Jingle was hanging out in the stocking with the homemade reindeer.

Day 11 of the Adventure

Um...I really don't know what to say Jingle.

 There is a trail of copy pictures of Jingle leading the way through the playroom....

 ...And we're not sure why....until....

 Wow.  Jingle you are NOTHING but trouble!

 Hopefully Santa will let you keep your job after this one!!

Day 10 of the Adventure

So my little guy asked Jingle to make some snowflakes for him to put on the windows. Jingle did him one better...brought back Santa Snow!

 He painted our front door sidelights with the Santa Snow. He must have been carried away because we have some snow on the floor, too!

Since he left the Santa Snow, the little man wants to do all of the windows. I might have to let him just do his bedroom. :)

Day 9 of the Adventure

I guess Jingle was tired from his long trip back from the North Pole.

Day 8 of the Adventure

Our son LOVES nutcrackers. I think he picked this up from his sweet music teacher that he is crushing on, but no matter. I had bought a nutcracker for a gift today and he was so sad I didn't get him one. I guess Jingle was listening!

It just proves the elves are always listening!

Day 7 of the Adventure

It's a bird! No...it's a plane!  No! It is SUPER JINGLE!
Jingle wants to be a super hero!

 He found a mask and cape...

 ...and while flying around got caught in the dining room light!

Day 6 of the Adventure

It looks like our elf Jingle made a pit stop before coming home.

 Mardi Gras beads?  REALLY Jingle?

 He must have stopped by the French Quarter before coming to visit us. He was found this morning hanging out on my New Orleans pictures.

Too bad he didn't swing by Cafe Du Monde and bring me some beignets!

Day 5 of the Adventure

Uh oh.....

It looks like we have some jealous Lego men!

 They tied down Jingle in the Lego city in a basket so he wouldn't get away. Hopefully they will be okay with him here a while longer...and hopefully he can get out!

Day 4 of the Adventure

Jingle found the dry erase markers...

This is what he will see when he walks out of his room (yes the frame is crooked).

NAUGHTY ELF!

Day 3 of the Adventure

Oh no! Jingle wanted to try and play a little basketball outside.

 Looks like he couldn't get out of the door without getting stuck!

 Maybe next time Jingle!

Adventures of Jingle the Elf

Jingle is our little Elf who comes to us from the North Pole the day after Thanksgiving every year. He is VERY mischievous and gets into trouble all of the time.  He is back so keep a watch on the blog for the daily report!

When he arrived, he decided to camp out among the GFL trophies!

 When we awoke this morning, he had helped himself to the last bit of Halloween candy in the candy bucket.

 I think he got chocolate wasted last night. He even has wrappers on his hat!

We look forward to waking up every morning to the fun mess that Jingle creates.

Confessions of a frustrated wife...

I KNOW my dear husband can't be the only man who does this.

Videos and games all over the floor RIGHT beside the basket they belong in with tons of cords from the TV he SAID he would have mounted.

 

 An empty bag of chips sitting on top of the alarm clock in the bedroom.

His SUIT sitting in the chair.

Please tell me I'm not the only one constantly picking up after a husband. Please tell me this is normal.  My frustration comes from an argument weeks ago. "I pick up all of my things," he says. "You don't pick up my stuff."  I didn't take pictures of the 3 glasses sitting on the side of the sink, or the shoes under the dresser, or the hats sitting BESIDE the hat basket, but I think you get my drift. 

My question to you...Should I pick these things up or let them pile up even more just to prove my point? Is it even worth making a point? Help me out!!!

My new favorite

I have a new vacuum!  Well, I've had it for a few months, but now that I've used it for a while, I am in LOOOVE! 

Yes, it says As Seen On TV, but I didn't buy it from some silly TV ad.  I went to a local vacuum shop and tried it out.  I used it in the store, along with other models and for what I needed and what I was looking for, this was the best buy. Yes, I would love a dyson, but why pay the money when this does the same thing?! 

My rugs are clean, my carpets are clean AND it vacuums the hardwoods like a dream!  And because it is lightweight, my stairs finally received the proper cleaning they have been needing!  So if you are looking for a reasonably priced vacuum (Between $100 and $200) that gets the job done, THIS is your next vacuum!

(No, I'm not being compensated for this post, but if Hoover WANTS to pay me, you can find my email address on my blog! Ha Ha!)

http://hoover.com/products/details/uh70400/windtunnel-air-bagless-upright/

September 11

September 11 (Repost from 2011)

I remember what I was wearing.
I remember where I was sitting.
I remember the phone at my office ringing.
I remember the sound of my mother's voice.
I remember leaving the ringing telephone and running to the television in the conference room.
I remember the horror, the tears, the anger, the questions, and the fear.
I went back to my desk praying.
Praying for those who were dying.
Praying for those who were saving lives.
Praying for those who would get out alive.
Praying for God to save us all.

The tears still flow.  I was no where close to NYC, Washington DC or Pennsylvania but my heart still stops when I hear a low flying plane.  As I'm trying to find the words to explain to my 6 year old what happened, I cannot hold back the tears and he doesn't understand.

Thank you for those who died 10 years ago.  Thank you to those who are survivors.  Thank you to those who have kept the rest of us safe at home and abroad.

I have family who is protecting our country.  I have so many friends who are protecting our country.  I have so many friends who have spouses protecting our country.  To you, thank you. Thank you for interrupting your life to keep others safe.

God Bless America.

Best Cream Cheese Frosting...EVER!

Thank you SO much to my sweet friend Kerri for the WONDERFUL recipe!

Yes...I'm still alive...

It has been a BUSY time here at the Queen's castle...I've started substitute teaching!  I still have a lot of things I've been working on and doing that I'll try to catch you all up on in the next few days.  Be prepared for Elf Mischief, quilt making, Christmas tree skirt re-do, S-I-M-A (Squirrels in my attic for those not versed in Phineas and Ferb), scarves, a wreath makeover and whatever else I have missed over the last few months.

In the meantime, enjoy this little fun tidbit! Yes, I am a Star Wars nerd so this REALLY excites me!